Saturday, July 11, 2009

Fish on!

You hear people talk sometimes about animal magnetism. Usually when people talk about this, they are referring to their own (or others') perceived ability to unwittingly attract people to them with some unidentifiable charismatic power.

In elementary school, I learned about magnets and how they have two poles. The poles are known as a North pole and a South pole. One pole of a magnet will attract the opposite pole of another magnet and repel it's counterpart on the other magnet. In 1989, this concept was effectively proved to be true when Paula Abdul released her hit Opposites Attract.

I am currently a ripe 29 years of age. And, I am not ashamed to admit I have a certain degree of animal magnetism. Historically, I haven't been a serious fisherman, but in the last couple of years I've gotten my fishing license and a modest fishing pole with a limited amount of tackle. I've gone fishing throughout Utah and in some places in Alaska. I've fished in Alaska at times when the salmon were running and fishermen were lined shoulder-to-shoulder in a river. I've seen fishermen on either side of me pull fish out of the river with ease while I look on with envy. Apparently my animal magnetism repels fish.

I haven't caught a fish in years, probably since I was about 14 or 15 years old; I'll leave it to you to determine just how long that is. I've spent countless hours trying to overcome this animal magnetism, to no avail. You just can't compete with physics.

This weekend my animal magnetism was again brought to light. In the Uinta Mountains, there are easily dozens of lakes, if not more. These lakes are stocked with an assortment of fish, especially trout. Using a highly specialized (and stinky) trout bait, I spent a couple hours trying to trick just one fish that the yellow sparkly gelatinous blob on my hook was, in fact, tasty and delicious. The closest I got was watching fish jump and trying to cast said gelatinous blob in the general vicinity of where I thought the fish was. My animal magnetism was in full force, yet again.

Good thing my animal magnetism doesn't work the same with women or I'd be a single 29-year old LDS man.



david o smith said...

Hey, as long as you have things figured out. That seems like a positive step. Thanks for making me laugh.

Shannon said...

Clever, clever. Don't worry, fishing is all about patience and enjoying the scenery...same with dating, eh?
p.s. my word verification was "clishina". Maybe that's the name of your next big catch. Hey, it could happen.

Tim said...

or maybe you can't catch fish because you're a stinking cougar....i'm just saying...