Monday, March 30, 2009

What Dreams May Come

Not a lot of new things have been happening in my life, except for the passing of my alarm clock. Normally this wouldn't be such a big deal, but my life literally depends on this clock. It is the only thing that gets me moving (after an hour or more of the 'snooze' button) in the morning. So, imagine my surprise when I woke up at around 7:15am one morning and discovered that my alarm wasn't going off. After some quick and sleepy calculations based on what time I set the alarm and figuring out what time it would go off if I had been unconsciously hitting the snooze button, I realized that the alarm had not been going off at all.

I rushed through the shower and into some clothes and on my way. I also decided I needed a new alarm clock. After little deliberation, I decided to go to Wal-Mart to find my new clock. And find I did.

My last clock was a radio alarm clock, which was nice because I like to listen to the radio in the morning as I get ready for work, but is bad if I set the clock's alarm to music because I hear the music in my dreams. Instead of being an alarm clock, it provides a soundtrack for my dreams. It's not just music that finds its way into my dreams, either. If I fall asleep in class, the lecture appears in my dream (there's just no escape sometimes), if I fall asleep in a movie or during a TV show - guess what, they magically show up in my dreams too.

I wasn't able to find another radio-clock, but I did find one doozy of an alarm clock that even has soothing sleeping sounds to help lull you to sleep. And, it was only $10 - perfect. I couldn't wait to get home and turn on the ocean waves sound and drift off to sleep listening to waves crash on the shore. I was just imagining the peaceful sleep this $10 machine would give me.

I got home, plugged in the clock and got the time and alarms set. I was practically grinning as I laid under my covers thinking of how awesome it would be to sleep to the sound of the ocean. I turned on the blessed machine and laid back on my pillow to hear waves crashing - some big, some small but all peaceful.

Then the seagulls came. CAW! CAW! It sounded like a flock of seagulls was trapped in an echo chamber and some sadist threw some bread crumbs in for them all to fight over. After apparently getting their fill of bread, the gulls departed and I was once again treated to the lullabyic sounds of the ocean. I was almost asleep when the blasted seagulls returned for more bread. Darn those gulls!

Fortunately for me, there is more than one setting for soothing sleeping sounds. I decided a brook would be something nice to listen to and made the switch. I again laid back eager to greet sleep. A soft babbling brook sounded near my bed...until the frogs showed up. Who knew it was mating season along my quiet brook? Obviously the frogs knew and they were eager to find a companion for the evening (can't blame them too much, I guess). I guess they all found someone to spend some time with and soon they went away, leaving me to my brook. Then, like the gulls, the frogs came back. This was obviously a group of swinger frogs, because they were all looking for a new partner, croaking as if their life depended on it.

In frustration, I switched to the third setting and my last chance for a soothing sleep - windchimes. I really enjoy listening to the wind blow through trees as I'm sleeping, so this one had to be a winner, right? Wrong. How in the world can anyone sleep when it sounds like there are three or four doorbells constantly going off. At one time, I actually got up out of my bed and started walking to the door before I realized it was just my clock. Oh-for-three. I struck out with the soft sleeping sounds.

I turned off the machine with a level of disappointment and laid there in abject silence. There would be no soothing tonight, or any night for that matter.

However, I did have the last laugh. As I drifted off to sleep, I reminded myself that my dreams incorporate things I hear around me, and I didn't really need to listen to a babbling brook or ocean waves crashing all night.

Especially after that last glass of water.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Celebrity sightings

I know, I know - Sundance is over and has been for a couple months now. I didn't go up to Park City (I've never gone for Sundance) and I don't stalk the stars like some people do. In fact, I don't think it's possible for me to care any less about what they're doing, where they're eating or who they're currently seeing/dating/marrying/divorcing/affairing/etc.

However, and many of you may not have noticed this, there has been a celebrity sighting on my blog. That's correct, right here on Musings, a celebrity was spotted. And, he even left his mark. You may be wondering who in the world I'm talking about.

The Normal Mormon Husband has been here. In fact, he even commented on my last post. Folks, welcome to the big time.

The Normal Mormon Husband gained his notoriety with such posts as "I Got Jumped by Santa in the Vernal, Utah Wal-Mart!", and "South Carolina, Hobos & Doggie Doo", not to mention countless other equally awesome posts.

You may not realize it yet, but the Normal Mormon Husband (NMH for short) is perhaps one of the most clever blog writers of our time. He's witty, pensive, engaging and clear in his writing style. You may laugh, you may cry (I don't because I'm tough), you may relate, but I guarantee you will enjoy his writing. I highly recommend his blog - I have a link to it on the bottom right of my page, but I don't know how many people venture down there, so I'll put it here too. And, unlike me, he has real sponsors - so that should tell you a little something about his blog.

I told you I was saving for a truck (I'm currently at $2.82 - rock on!) so after you click on a google ad, I encourage you to visit his site but just don't forget about me while you're over there...

Monday, March 2, 2009

I've got troubles, whoa-oh

This world is full of it. Problems and troubles abound, seemingly surrounding us on every side (redundancy for $500, Alex). Take for instance this morning. I was on my way to work, minding my own business while driving down the freeway. I usually move as quickly as I can to the far left lane because the right lanes get clogged a couple miles after I get on the freeway because of the major downtown exit and everyone trying to get to work at the same time.

So, naturally, in an effort to maximize the use of my time on my way to work, I try to avoid traffic (read: I'm late and in a hurry). Well, this morning the traffic wasn't too bad as I made my way to the far left lane. I couldn't quite get there right off the bat though, so I was cruising along in the next-to-the-far-left-hand-lane when some bozo decides he wants my place in the lane. This guy came from the right, seemingly without looking and cut right in front of me.

This really torqued me off and as I was able to move left (finally!) and pass the yahoo, he turned and looked at me with a look of smug superiority on his face. Apparently he didn't know he'd just been passed by a Civic. Sucker. I wanted to wipe that smug look off his face with my right (or left) fist. As I passed him and steamed, I came to a realization.

If I had punched that guy in the face, my problem would have been solved. I think this could be extended to more than just the jerk who cut me off. If everyone who deserved it got punched in the face, think of how happy the world could be. Think about it -- school yard disputes used to be settled by a fist fight and then they were over and done with, hockey players fight and then the conflict is over, boxers...well, boxers take a little while, but the idea is the same.

I wonder how many of the world's problems could be solved by a simple punch to the face. One person can made a difference. Remember the guy who would go around hugging people at random? Imagine the impact he had on people's lives. I would bet this would be similar in scope.

I'm going to implement this practice in my life. You can all thank me later for doing my small part to help this world.

Think globally, act locally. Amen.