Monday, March 30, 2009

What Dreams May Come

Not a lot of new things have been happening in my life, except for the passing of my alarm clock. Normally this wouldn't be such a big deal, but my life literally depends on this clock. It is the only thing that gets me moving (after an hour or more of the 'snooze' button) in the morning. So, imagine my surprise when I woke up at around 7:15am one morning and discovered that my alarm wasn't going off. After some quick and sleepy calculations based on what time I set the alarm and figuring out what time it would go off if I had been unconsciously hitting the snooze button, I realized that the alarm had not been going off at all.

I rushed through the shower and into some clothes and on my way. I also decided I needed a new alarm clock. After little deliberation, I decided to go to Wal-Mart to find my new clock. And find I did.

My last clock was a radio alarm clock, which was nice because I like to listen to the radio in the morning as I get ready for work, but is bad if I set the clock's alarm to music because I hear the music in my dreams. Instead of being an alarm clock, it provides a soundtrack for my dreams. It's not just music that finds its way into my dreams, either. If I fall asleep in class, the lecture appears in my dream (there's just no escape sometimes), if I fall asleep in a movie or during a TV show - guess what, they magically show up in my dreams too.

I wasn't able to find another radio-clock, but I did find one doozy of an alarm clock that even has soothing sleeping sounds to help lull you to sleep. And, it was only $10 - perfect. I couldn't wait to get home and turn on the ocean waves sound and drift off to sleep listening to waves crash on the shore. I was just imagining the peaceful sleep this $10 machine would give me.

I got home, plugged in the clock and got the time and alarms set. I was practically grinning as I laid under my covers thinking of how awesome it would be to sleep to the sound of the ocean. I turned on the blessed machine and laid back on my pillow to hear waves crashing - some big, some small but all peaceful.

Then the seagulls came. CAW! CAW! It sounded like a flock of seagulls was trapped in an echo chamber and some sadist threw some bread crumbs in for them all to fight over. After apparently getting their fill of bread, the gulls departed and I was once again treated to the lullabyic sounds of the ocean. I was almost asleep when the blasted seagulls returned for more bread. Darn those gulls!

Fortunately for me, there is more than one setting for soothing sleeping sounds. I decided a brook would be something nice to listen to and made the switch. I again laid back eager to greet sleep. A soft babbling brook sounded near my bed...until the frogs showed up. Who knew it was mating season along my quiet brook? Obviously the frogs knew and they were eager to find a companion for the evening (can't blame them too much, I guess). I guess they all found someone to spend some time with and soon they went away, leaving me to my brook. Then, like the gulls, the frogs came back. This was obviously a group of swinger frogs, because they were all looking for a new partner, croaking as if their life depended on it.

In frustration, I switched to the third setting and my last chance for a soothing sleep - windchimes. I really enjoy listening to the wind blow through trees as I'm sleeping, so this one had to be a winner, right? Wrong. How in the world can anyone sleep when it sounds like there are three or four doorbells constantly going off. At one time, I actually got up out of my bed and started walking to the door before I realized it was just my clock. Oh-for-three. I struck out with the soft sleeping sounds.

I turned off the machine with a level of disappointment and laid there in abject silence. There would be no soothing tonight, or any night for that matter.

However, I did have the last laugh. As I drifted off to sleep, I reminded myself that my dreams incorporate things I hear around me, and I didn't really need to listen to a babbling brook or ocean waves crashing all night.

Especially after that last glass of water.


Rob A. said...

Dude we have the same alarm clock and I whole heartedly argee with you commentary. It's so funny because I know exactly what you are talking about with the gulls, frogs and wind chimes.
That's too funny.

Kasey said...

Wow! I never knew that so much could be said about the passing of an alarm clock. I've had the same alarm clock since I was about 12 years old and I'm afraid that someday soon it's going to die. When it does, I'm definitely having you give the eulogy. :)